


you, only you

by The_Consulting_Werewolf



Category: EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:15:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26100259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Consulting_Werewolf/pseuds/The_Consulting_Werewolf
Summary: Seokjin is, was, always such a constant in his life. There never was a waking moment where Chanyeol thinks Seokjin wasn’t in it.
Relationships: Kim Seokjin | Jin/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	you, only you

**Author's Note:**

> I have had this languish in my WIPs since 2018

Seokjin is, was, always such a constant in his life. There never was a waking moment where Chanyeol thinks Seokjin wasn’t in it. They grew up together; their houses were on the same street, they went to the same kindergarten, elementary school, junior high and high school. They were always together, so much so that people started asking if they were more than just friends. At first, it would surprise them, embarrass them but slowly, they started to play into it. Every time someone made the joke, Seokjin would pout and make kissy faces at Chanyeol or throw his arms around him and start quoting romantic movies. Chanyeol would just palm his face and smile but he would go along with it.

He would let Seokjin turn his head up and pout his lips, his ridiculously plump, pink lips. He would let Seokjin cling to him and let his soft, powdery scent fill his senses. Seokjin is beautiful, and the older he got, the more it showed. Now, in their second year of college, Chanyeol is ever more aware of it. How flawless Seokjin’s skin is, how his hair is soft as feathers, how his crooked fingers curl around coffee cups every morning, how his eyes sparkle when he is too happy, how his voice is gentle and sweet when he sings in the shower, how at the end of a tiring day Seokjin just melts into the couch asking Chanyeol for cuddles. And there are many more things but Chanyeol can’t spend too much thinking about them.

They didn’t go to the same universities though. Seokjin chose Yonsei while Chanyeol chose K-Arts, but they chose to live together with two others going to the same colleges. Seokjin has to travel a little further but he doesn’t complain and Chanyeol still waits when Seokjin will tell him he found somewhere better to live. But Seokjin doesn’t, didn’t, hasn’t for a year.

It is a usual morning. One of their roommates, Kyungsoo, is already up and awake, making toast. Chanyeol wakes up second, then Seokjin and finally Yoongi, who hates waking up so much that Seokjin takes far too much pleasure in arousing him from his sleep. Today, as Chanyeol and Kyungsoo move around the kitchen, they hear Yoongi shout at his roommate, “Kim Seokjin! I will murder you one day!”

Kyungsoo chuckles as Chanyeol shakes his head. Seokjin’s cackle is heard as he skips out of his and Yoongi’s room. Seokjin enters the kitchen and he is all smiles, his eyes crinkled as he says, “I left an ice cube to melt on his forehead!”

Kyungsoo gapes at Seokjin before saying, “He _will_ kill you one day and I don’t want to be here when that happens.”

Seokjin giggles and throws his arms around Chanyeol’s shoulders as he says, “Don’t worry, Chanyeollie will save me!” He puts his chin on Chanyeol’s shoulder and says, “Won’t you?”

Chanyeol swallows; his throat dry as he looks at his best friend. His eyes are wide and he is trying on his best innocent look. Chanyeol wants to tell him that he would walk through hell and back for Seokjin. “Yeah, maybe.”

Seokjin pulls back and frowns, putting on the act some more. “Maybe?”

Chanyeol chuckles, feeling his heart crawl up his throat. He ruffles Seokjin’s hair but Seokjin is not having any of it as he steps back and makes a face at Chanyeol. Seokjin puts on the melodrama as thick as he can as he fakes a sob and walks away. Kyungsoo laughs and Chanyeol laughs along even if his heart is still pounding too hard in his chest.

When it’s only the two of them again, Kyungsoo says, “You know, Seokjin was seen with this freshman yesterday.”

“And?” Chanyeol asks, slightly confused.

“Sehun said they were flirting.”

Chanyeol sucks in a deep breath. Kyungsoo knows, Kyungsoo knew the moment he walked in this apartment as their third roommate. He is much too smart, observant and it didn’t take him too long to figure out that Chanyeol is in love with his best friend. It also didn’t take him too long to realise that Seokjin is oblivious to the fact.

“Well, who he flirts with is his business Soo,” Chanyeol says, his voice low, subdued, perhaps a bit hurt.

“Would you be alright?”

Chanyeol doesn’t get to answer as a grumbling, silently raging Yoongi enters the kitchen searching for coffee. Seokjin returns as well, dressed in a white hoodie and dark, ripped jeans. He smiles up at Chanyeol and plops down on the seat with his plate of toast and his favourite jar of cheese spread. Chanyeol feels his heart climbing up his throat again.

When did it begin? Where was the start? What was the moment when Chanyeol realised his heart was beating too fast, too hard for Seokjin? When did he realise his lungs were constricting and his breath catching at each smile? Chanyeol can’t remember; maybe he was always there but he was unaware. Maybe it happened during third-period mathematics when Seokjin was falling asleep on his desk and Chanyeol would find it fascinating watching Seokjin’s eyelashes flutter as they fought sleep. Maybe it happened during the long summer holidays when Seokjin would put on his tank tops and try to tan, his collarbones and neck on display, and he would ask Chanyeol to spread that gentle floral-scented sunscreen on his nape. Maybe it happened during the monthly trips to the pastry shop where Seokjin would look at the croissants and muffins with his eyes wide with wonder and he would tell Chanyeol how he wanted to own his bakery one day, his eyes sparkling with his dreams and ambitions.

But here he is, at the age of twenty, halting his steps outside the open-air eating area in his college, his gaze landing on Seokjin throwing his head back, laughing at the boy with the dimples and spectacles sitting beside him as his heart descends. Seokjin is visiting him today since he does not have any afternoon classes on Wednesdays. He stops laughing and puts his hand on the boy’s forearm and Chanyeol’s grip tightens on his lunch tray. He is about to turn around and find another seat but Seokjin sees him, raises his hand and widens his smile as he shouts, “Chanyeol! Come here!”

Chanyeol swallows the lump in his throat and he walks over, totally weak to those glimmering eyes and wide smile. He puts his tray down on the table and sits down, smiling at the stranger, who smiles back. Seokjin leans closer, smiling as big as he can as he says, “Meet Namjoon, he is a junior from Yoongi’s department. I met him a week ago destroying the vending machine!”

Namjoon flushes a little and whines, “Hyung!”

Seokjin laughs, his usual windshield wiper laugh where his voice rises a few octaves and his eyes disappear into creases. He vibrates, and Chanyeol knows that is how the world knows how excited he is. Chanyeol shakes his head, looking away, at his tray as he opens the carton of strawberry milk. Chanyeol says, “I am Chanyeol.”

Namjoon nods his head, “I know Chanyeol-sshi, Seokjin hyung has been talking all about you.”

Chanyeol takes a small sip of his milk and smiles, “You are in Yoongi’s class, aren’t you? I think I have heard of a Kim Namjoon from him as well. He talked about how you also rap?”

“I am the Kim Namjoon, yes!” the boy smiles and his dimples appear, his light brown flopping into his eyes as he bows his head. Chanyeol realises Namjoon is attractive, the kind of attractive that reminds one of pleasant summer days and warm coffee on wintry afternoons and Chanyeol can understand why Seokjin would be attracted. His guts do twist a bit in jealousy but he understands it is misplaced, Seokjin is allowed to be with whoever he wants, Chanyeol just has to live with it, and maybe, learn how to…

Seokjin eyes the strawberry milk and Chanyeol wordlessly passes it to him. He receives a blinding smile in response and he swallows the lump in his throat again as he smiles at Namjoon, “So, a vending machine?”

Seokjin is standing in front of the bathroom mirror, frowning. Chanyeol finds him like that, dressed in skinny jeans and a loose black shirt made of some sort of shiny material. He has left most of his buttons open, showing vast expanses of his soft, peach skin, his neck and his collarbones. A dainty choker rests on his throat and Chanyeol has to force his eyes away. He clears his throat and tries to sound as nonchalant as he can as he grabs his toothbrush, “Hey, why are you dressed to kill?”

Seokjin pouts at him, his lips shiny with gloss, “Should I put on eyeliner?”

Chanyeol then notices the sleek, slim tube in his hand. He looks back up and Seokjin is standing too close, the scent of his cologne filling Chanyeol’s lungs. “You don’t wear eyeliner.”

“Well, I am dressed to impress Yeol,” Seokjin says, narrowing his eyes.

Chanyeol smirks, “I can see that. What are you planning to accomplish Jin?”

Seokjin laughs, “Just trying the college nightlife! I got invited to a party by Jaehwan, and I thought I should go.”

“You don’t do partying.”

“No, I don’t,” Seokjin sighs, putting the eyeliner down on the sink counter.

Chanyeol puts down his toothbrush and touches the collar of Seokjin’s shirt. “Hey, you don’t need the eyeliner. You are pretty enough in just your normal face. Plus, I don’t think I want you to poke your eyes out with that thing.”

Seokjin looks up, a soft smile on his face. Chanyeol could write songs about how beautiful his best friend is, but he won’t, he can’t. He leans into Chanyeol, pressing his cheek on Chanyeol’s shoulder. He turns to look at the mirror, at their reflection and he says, “You always know the right thing to say Yeol, how do you do that?”

Chanyeol too looks at their reflection and it is amusing. He is dressed in his pyjamas while Seokjin is all decked up and it should be clashing, odd too, but somehow, Chanyeol cannot help but think, in their own way, they work, they look nice together. Just like this, Seokjin’s head on his shoulder, his lips tilted gently at the corners and his eyes glimmering with amusement that he won’t share with Chanyeol.

Their gazes lock on the mirror and Chanyeol notices the strange, sad look in Seokjin’s eyes. Seokjin looks away, hooding his eyes and pushing himself away from Chanyeol, who is unsure what brought about the sudden mood shift. He was enjoying the warmth by his side. Seokjin steps away from their reflection and says, “Anyway, I gotta go. I will see you later.”

Chanyeol can’t sleep that night. For some reason, he is hyper-aware, extra awake like he downed Red Bull before bed but he didn’t. Kyungsoo had fallen asleep hours ago—poor guy returned from his date with his girlfriend and was gone the moment his head hit the pillow. Jihyun stayed back and chatted with Chanyeol for a while and left, not before dropping a kiss on Kyungsoo’s head and pulling the blanket over his small frame. Chanyeol had seen it from the doorframe, afraid to disturb the tender moment. Jihyun is a freshman and she goes to the same college as Chanyeol. Kyungsoo and Jihyun are a lot like Chanyeol and Seokjin, minus the “couple” part as they too have known each other since elementary school and started dating three years ago. Sometimes, Chanyeol does feel slight jealousy trying to gnaw at his insides when he looks at them. But then he remembers that some people are meant to be and some are just supposed to live like him.

The clock reads two in the morning and Chanyeol _really_ must sleep. He has an interview for an internship tomorrow. He didn’t think he would be accepted at JYP; it is just an interview but he has one foot through the door, so he is excited and terrified. He hasn’t even told this to anyone, not even Seokjin.

His stomach rumbles, reminding him that his dinner of six hours ago is slowly being digested and his body needs something now. He groans inwardly and gets down from his bed. Maybe, if he ate something, he will be able to sleep. Nothing fixes sleeplessness like midnight ramyun.

He walks into the kitchen and he is about to fill the saucepan up with water when he hears muffled noises at the entrance. He frowns but he hears someone laughing and _that_ is familiar. He puts down the saucepan and marches up to the door. He opens it to find Seokjin stumbling as Namjoon keeps him hoisted up, an arm around Seokjin’s waist. Namjoon seems soberer of the two as he bows at Chanyeol and says, “Sorry hyung if I woke you up. Seokjin hyung can’t seem to unlock the door.”

Seokjin, obviously the drunker of the two, giggles, “Fingers are funny.”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes. He raises his hands, motioning at Namjoon, “Well, pass the idiot to me. I got him.”

Namjoon smiles, “Yes, of course.” He removes his arm and tries to push Seokjin into Chanyeol’s waiting arms. Seokjin doesn’t say much as Namjoon heaves him onto Chanyeol, who pulls him up to his chest. Seokjin looks at Namjoon, who is smiling at Chanyeol and he squeals, “Joonie! I like your dimples!”

Namjoon laughs, “Thank you hyung.”

Seokjin grins and turns his head to look at Chanyeol, “I like your dimples too, Yeollie!”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes again even his heart thumps and his face feels warm at how close Seokjin is pressed to him, how his feverish heat is slowly seeping into Chanyeol’s skin. Namjoon bows again and says, “Anyway, I gotta go. My boyfriend is waiting downstairs and he is equally drunk, if not more and if I keep him waiting anymore, he will come to find me.”

Chanyeol bids him goodbye and shuts the door. His head buzzes. Namjoon is not single? Is that a good thing? Just then, Seokjin nuzzles into his neck and whines, “Mmm, Yeollie, you smell nice. You always smell so, so nice. My Yeollie always smells like sunshine.” Then he suddenly leans back, pouting at the ceiling, “Wait a minute, what does sunshine even smell like?” He seems to think about that for a moment before grinning, “Guess it smells like what Yeollie smells like!”

Chanyeol is pretty sure he _doesn’t_ smell like sunshine because that doesn’t exist, no one has been close enough to the sun to determine that, but he lets Seokjin nuzzle into his neck further, his limbs wrapping around him like an octopus. Chanyeol runs his hand down Seokjin’s spine and he feels the shorter man shiver slightly. Chanyeol gently speaks, “Sleepy?”

“Very, how did you know?”

“You’re being cuddly.”

Seokjin giggles, “Because Yeollie is cuddly!”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes but he can’t help the fondness seep into every crevice of his being. He half drags, half carries Seokjin to his room. Yoongi is not home yet, probably holed up with his friend working on his mixtape, so Chanyeol doesn’t have to worry about disturbing anyone. He puts Seokjin down on the bed and proceeds to remove his shoes and then drag the skinny jeans off his legs. He knows from experience how uncomfortable those demonic things can be when sleeping. 

Seokjn bucks his hips up as Chanyeol drags the fabric down his long, long legs. He had boxers underneath and the dark cotton contrasts against his skin, highlighting the smooth peach of it. Chanyeol finds his eyes trailing upwards, where the waistband cuts into the skin on Seokjin’s hips. The shirt has ridden up, exposing a bit of navel. Chanyeol forces himself to look away and he swallows thickly as his blood buzzes in his ears. He slowly rises to his feet and heads towards the closet. He knows which part consists of Seokjin’s thing and raids through it, looking for the heap of t-shirts Seokjin uses as sleeping shirts. 

He finds the pile of soft, worn-out t-shirts and to his surprise, he finds his own t-shirt on top of the stack. Chanyeol recognises it as the one he thought went missing after he returned back for college after the spring break. He remembers getting this t-shirt in his junior year of high school when he was so obsessed with BBC _Sherlock_ . It was the ubiquitous I Am Sherlocked t-shirt printed on black cotton fabric that is possibly something every fan bought that year. Chanyeol would wear it often and Seokjin would never miss an opportunity to make fun of it. _“So Chanyeol Holmes, deduce me this!”_ Seokjin would say and follow it up with something like, _“Can you tell which pencil I used for maths today?”_ Chanyeol would laugh and shove him to the side. 

Chanyeol could not find it after he came home from the last spring break. He remembers even asking Seokjin about it, who said he had no idea. Chanyeol frowns a little but he does not get time to mull over when he hears a whine coming from the bed. He grabs it and returns to the bed. Seokjin is sitting up and fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, mumbling something under his breath.

Chanyeol sits down and slaps Seokjin’s hands away, smiling, “You’re so useless when you’re drunk.”

Seokjin mutters, “Too many stupid little buttons.”

Chanyeol makes the mistake of looking at Seokjin right then. Seokjin is pouting and his face is flushed pink. He blinks at Chanyeol through his bangs and says nothing. There is that look in there again, the one Chanyeol saw in the bathroom hours ago. Chanyeol looks away and slips the shirt down Seokjin’s shoulders. He ignores how the pink flush travels down Seokjin’s neck and collarbones. He helps to pull the t-shirt down over Seokjin’s body and he softly asks, “Thief, you stole this?”

Seokjin looks down at his chest and grins. He flops down on the bed and pats the space beside him. Chanyeol knows how cuddly Seokjin is when sober, so when he is drunk it is even more so. The single bed is not spacious but Chanyeol makes some himself small enough to fit beside Seokjin, who immediately turns to his side and wraps his limbs around Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol takes a deep breath and wills his heart to not beat so loudly and so rapidly. Seokjin is so warm, always so warm, it is like hugging a fire that will perhaps one day burn Chanyeol to ashes. But he does not mind. He wraps his arms around Seokjin and rubs his back. Seokjin tilts his head back and smiles, “Yeah, I stole it.”

Chanyeol chuckles; Seokjin’s face is close and he can count the small freckles on his nose. “Why did you lie then?”

Seokjin juts his lower lip out. “I didn’t want to return it!”

“Why did you take it? If you wanted it so much, I would have given it to you happily.”

Seokjin pouts, his eyebrows furrowing. “But you weren’t here and I was missing you too much.” Seokjin tucks his face on Chanyeol’s chest and rubs his head on it. “You weren’t here and I was sad.” Chanyeol feels his chest tightening. Seokjin burrows out of his chest and looks at Chanyeol and his gaze is so impossibly soft that it knocks all the air out of Chanyeol’s lungs. “I sometimes miss you even when you’re around me.”

Chanyeol frowns; he has never seen Seokjin like this, saying things that are making no sense to him. Then, Seokjin cups his face and before Chanyeol can fathom, he feels lips brush against the corner of his lips. He parts his mouth in an inaudible gasp and Seokjin simply blinks at him as he says, “I’m so scared, you know. Of losing you forever. What if this stupid t-shirt is all I have left?”

Chanyeol’s head is whirring, he cannot hear over the thumping of his pulse that is louder than drums in his ears. Seokjin is not done, still talking in a way that Chanyeol cannot understand. He then kisses Chanyeol’s neck and mumbles, “You’re too important, too precious, you’re my sun. What would I do without you?” Seokjin’s voice sounds wet, restrained when he puts his face into Chanyeol’s neck and says, “I need my Yeollie forever.”

Chanyeol is shocked into silence further when he feels wetness on his skin. Seokjin is crying and hugging him so tightly, so closely that it felt like Seokjin is afraid that Chanyeol would turn into dust at any given moment, abandon him. Chanyeol focuses on that at this moment. He clutches Seokjin and says, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m not leaving you _ever_.”

Seokjin calms down slowly as Chanyeol rubs soothing circles into his back. Seokjin falls asleep, going lax in Chanyeol’s arms. Chanyeol, however, cannot close his eyes. Every little thing that happened in the last few minutes plays over and over and over in his head. _Why did Seokjin kiss him?_

Chanyeol chews on his thumbnail as he stares into the cup of tea in front of him. He is seated at the kitchen counter and staring at his warped reflection on the toaster opposite to him. Guess that is how he feels inside too—twisted, shapeless, confused. 

It hs been three days since that night, since Chanyeol climbed into bed with Seokjin and Seokjin said all those things that did not make any sense and then _kissed_ him. Chanyeol woke up to a deeply asleep Seokjin in the bed the next morning. He only had an hour to get ready for his interview at JYP, so he did not get time to talk and also Seokjin was resting so peacefully, he did not have the heart to wake him up. He came home to find Seokjin gone and he had surmised that Seokjin had only gone to college. But it has been two nights and three days since then and Seokjin has not come back home. He aced the interview and texted Seokjin and he did not even get a reply—just two ticks letting him know that Seokjin read it. He heard from Yoongi that he was staying with Jaehwan and his girlfriend. Yoongi had asked if they had fought but Chanyeol could not answer him. Even Kyungsoo realised something was off. Chanyeol has remained mum throughout. He cannot understand all of that himself, how can he possibly explain it to anyone else?

“You might hit bone before you even manage to finish your tea.” Chanyeol turns his head around to find Kyungsoo taking his shoes off in the foyer. He removes his jacket and smiles, “And your tea is definitely getting colder.”

Chanyeol stops chewing on his nail and picks his cup up. His tea is tepid right now but he drinks all of it in one gulp anyway. Kyungsoo puts the kettle on the stove and says, “Seokjin texted me, he said he is caught up in some project, so he might not be home tonight as well.” Chanyeol opens his mouth to say something but Kyungsoo beats him to it, “He is avoiding coming home because of you, isn’t he?” Kyungsoo turns and points an accusing finger at Chanyeol, “Don’t even lie.”

He pulls out a cup for himself and rummages through their tea drawer for a while. Chanyeol tries to speak again but Kyungsoo interrupts, “Something happened the night when I and Yoongi weren’t home, right? I came home late that night, you were not in your bed and later, Seokjin was sitting in the kitchen chewing his nail in your t-shirt.”

Chanyeol swallows as the memories of that night make them known again. He says, “How did he, how did he look to you?”

The kettle whistles and Kyungsoo sits down beside Chanyeol with his tea. He is dipping his bag of chamomile tea in the water as he says, “Worried, nervous? And I think he might have been crying, his nose was red.” Chanyeol shuts his eyes tightly and inhales deeply. Anguish and confusion consumes his chest when he thinks of how Seokjin cried in his arms that night. He feels a hand on his shoulder and he opens his eyes to find Kyungsoo looking at him with sympathetic eyes. “What happened Chanyeol? You know I won’t tell anyone.”

Chanyeol licks his lips (when did they get so dry?). He looks at Kyungsoo, wetness behind his eyelids as he says, “Seokjin kissed me that night.” Kyungsoo’s eyes widen and his lips part in a gasp. Chanyeol sighs, “But he was drunk and he said some stuff that didn’t make sense.”

Kyungsoo squeezes Chanyeol’s shoulder and hums, “Oh, I did think so…”

Chanyeol twists his body around, uncertainty marring his face. “Think so what?”

Kyungsoo sips his tea. “That Seokjin feels the same way for you.”

It is Chanyeol’s turn to widen his eyes and gasp. “What, what do you mean?” His skin prickles and his breath catches in his chest. _That’s impossible...right?_

Kyungsoo presses his lips. He looks directly at Chanyeol and smiles and it is a gentle smile, something Chanyeol rarely sees on the man. “I stay quiet but I do observe a lot. I saw the way you looked at him and I was right. I see the way he looks at you and maybe, I’m right this time too.” He shakes his head, “Don’t Chanyeol, just go talk to him. You know where Jaehwan lives, right?”

Chanyeol stands in front of the student apartment complex and he suddenly wonders how Seokjin is. He knows these apartments are small, nearly shoebox-sized with only one room and a meagre living-kitchen space. Is Seokjin sleeping on a couch? Chanyeol frowns, that cannot be good for him. It would hurt his back and neck. He remembers the days Seokjin would fall asleep on the couch in his home back in Gwacheon. How he would whine and ask Chanyeol to rub out the kinks in his back and neck. 

Chanyeol swallows and steps inside. He takes the elevator to the fourth floor and his legs wobble, feel like they do not belong to him anymore because they want to turn back and run but he cannot. One, he _needs_ to do this and two, Kyungsoo has threatened him that if he does not return with Seokjin, Kyungsoo will kick him. Chanyeol walks down the corridor and finds Jaehwan’s apartment.

He rings the bell and the door gets opened a few seconds later by Sowon, Jaehwan’s girlfriend. They know each other by sight, so Sowon’s surprise in her eyes worries Chanyeol for a moment. She grins next, quickly handling her own surprise well, “Ah, Chanyeol-sshi? Are you here for Seokjin? Come in!”

Chanyeol shakes his head. “No, can you ask him outside? I just need to, uh, talk to him.”

Sowon nods and leaves the door ajar as she walks away. Chanyeol moves to the side, turning his back as he tries to breathe properly, calm down the storm now brewing in his lungs. He can do this, he can confront his best friend about _this_. 

He hears the door creak open again and Chanyeol forgets everything for a moment. Seokjin stands there, on the doorstep, the light from the foyer behind him creates a halo and even in his oversized pink hoodie, Chanyeol cannot help but think how ethereal his best friend’s beauty is. How, despite the unruly hair, the chapped lips, the red nose and the dark circles under his eyes, Seokjin is still the most beautiful man ever. 

Seokjin bites down on his lower lip and closes the door behind him as he walks closer to Chanyeol. He is twisting the hem of his hoodie as he says, “Hey.”

Chanyeol can say so many things, can parrot all the dialogues he has heard in movies and television shows but he forgets them all, pushes them aside because those people in those movies and shows are not them—are not Park Chanyeol and Kim Seokjin. Best friends since they could remember, soulmates in, perhaps, in every sense of the word and beyond. They have seen each other grow up, go through every high and low, nurse heartbreaks and cheer for new crushes. Chanyeol could sigh and Seokjin would know what he needs. Seokjin can look at Chanyeol a certain way and Chanyeol would know what he wants. So, he grabs Seokjin by his arms and pulls him to his chest. Seokjin makes a sound, his mouth parting as Chanyeol knocks the breath out of him. Chanyeol wraps his arms tightly around Seokjin and pushes his face in Seokjin’s neck. 

The hoodie is soft and Seokjin smells like coffee, like home, like love. Chanyeol feels his throat clogging up, the storm in his chest now pelting huge drops of rain. He says, “Jin, why did you leave me like that? You said you were scared of me leaving, but then you did that instead.”

Seokjin fists his hands behind Chanyeol’s back and fights back his tears as he says, “But I did something so stupid—”

Chanyeol leans back and cups Seokjin’s face. He lightly presses his lips against Seokjin’s and mutters, “It wasn’t stupid.”

Seokjin widens his eyes and his fingers claw into Chanyeol’s side. “Yeollie?”

Chanyeol presses his lips against Seokjin’s again and mumbles, “I love you Seokjinnie, I’ve always loved you.” Chanyeol kisses Seokjin’s cheek when he notices the teardrop making its way down. “I love you so much.”

Seokjin cups Chanyeol’s neck and his eyes are still wide, now wet with overflowing tears. Chanyeol realises there is wetness on his cheeks as well. Seokjin says, his voice hoarse, “You love me? Me? I only ever make a mess, and I thought I had messed up with you too.” He holds the lapel of Chanyeol’s coat and presses his head on Chanyeol’s sternum. “God, when I realised I love you, I was so sure I would ruin everything if you ever got to know.”

Chanyeol coaxes Seokjin to look at him. He smiles and his gaze flits towards Seokjin’s lips—always so inviting and he does what he always wanted to do. He kisses them, properly this time.

Seokjin melts into his arms, under his mouth. Chanyeol pulls him in closer and closer till he cannot tell if that is enough. Seokjin tastes like coffee but still so sweet; his lips are chapped but raw with love, and giving him everything he has. Chanyeol offers him what is left of him. The feel of Seokjin in their room, under the light of the windows, with their books and music, their morning coffee, their noons and nights, their bodies under the blanket like tiny flowing currents immediate and forever, their legs and their arms, his smile and the warmth that is just Seokjin—the kiss is all of that and more.

When they part for air, Seokjin’s lips are swollen and red and Chanyeol cannot look away from that and the dark flush on his face. Chanyeol murmurs, “I love you.”

Seokjin smiles, “And I love you.” 

Seokjin picks up a piece of popcorn and throws it at Jaehwan, who cackles, “Okay, okay, Sowon and I heard everything!”

Seokjin narrows his eyes and puts a handful of popcorn in his mouth. He leans against Chanyeol and Chanyeol instantly pulls him closer. Kyungsoo chuckles, “Of course you did!”

Yoongi too laughs as he opens a can of soda. “Well, at least, now, you two idiots are together!”

Kyungsoo groans, “Finally!”

Seokjin and Chanyeol laugh but they are both blushing. It is movie night at their apartment and their friends have not stopped teasing them since they announced to them they are officially dating. But it is okay, they can endure all of that. Chanyeol looks at Seokjin, who smiles up at him. Chanyeol feels his heart expanding in his chest, every little crevice in his body filling up with the love he feels for the man in his arms. 

“Okay, stop looking at each other like that, it’s gross.” 

It is Chanyeol’s turn to throw popcorn at Jaehwan.


End file.
